演员:     P: Pirate-Grandson.     M: Mother.
          F: Father.             K: King -Grandpa.

旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. .

正剧：(P,K出场)

P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second.

K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状)

P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)
  Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼)

K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状)

P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!

K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)

P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.（作气愤欲泣状）

K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.

P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状)

K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状)

P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)

K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man.  
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P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状)

K: Oh?! You are right（作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔）

P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状)

K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)

P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状)

K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状)

P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状)

（M,F携手进场）:

P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)

M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状)

P:（作阳痿状） Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)

M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K)

K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)

M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear,  isn’t you ?

F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?

M: Yes, really a good suggestion.

（P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)
（P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰）

P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold?

K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷)

M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold?

P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)

M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状)

P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)

M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状)

P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状)

M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状)

P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状)

M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !
到小品,再到演员,一路走来的他获得了不少的成就。自从范伟与赵本山老师一同出现在春晚舞台上表演了《卖拐》后,他就开始被不少人给记住了。再春晚7个小品1个相声!岳云鹏沈腾贾玲来袭,黄晓明肖战谢娜演小品飞鱼
K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)

P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状)

M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状)

K: I know the disadvantage. But TV also teaches him a lot of things which he can’t learn from books, Such as survival ability and communication skills. (中气不足状，因为理由不充分)

M: Just those force, fighting and cheat? (置疑状)

P: Mummy, I apologize that I have cheated you. (诚恳状) I won’t do that next time. Can you forgive me this time, Mummy. (做鬼脸,逗妈妈开心)

M: Pick up trick. It doesn’t work this time. (义正言辞状)

P: Mummy, not next time, ok? ( 作悲伤状，以引起妈妈的同情)

(M不理P)

M: Dad. I know you love little pirate very much, but I think you should choose the right way. Spoiling is not true love. It’s the poison in honey. (作严肃状)

F: Yes, Dad, Pirate has a lot of things to do. We should be his guide, not to carry out everything he said. We can bring him to the library to see what books attract him most. We can help him to develop his interest, shape his personality, and improve his intelligence and so on. I think it’s the right way to love our little Pirate. Do you think so, dear? (很理智，明晰状)

M:  It’s just what I want to say. (赞同状 )

F: Ok, I should change my way of loving him. I should let him do his own thing and be his guide. (作彻悟状)

P: Oh, so much time has passed. I eager to go to wash room, I can’t bear it. (捂小腹，作难受状)

K: Ok, I go to bring the paper, don’t worry! I’ll accompany with you. (作习惯性状，因为Pirate的大小便通常都由King主管)

M、F：No, let him do that himself, and be his guide. (同声提醒K)

K: Oh, yes, little Pirate, it’s your job now, nobody can help. You should do it yourself. (作揶揄状)

P: Xi, I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I can do it. (跨进厕所，作藐视状，有什么大不了，不就进个厕所吗)

M、F、K: Brave Pirate! (作自豪状，含有夸奖意)

P: Oh, my god! The washroom is so large and dark! (害怕状，因为从末一个人进厕所)

M、F、K: (All 晕倒)

                                       —— The End